Inspiration, Dedication, and finding your 'Why?'
So as I've generally posted, I applied for a scholarship for the Floret Online Workshop (if you haven't heard of it, check it out! ) and it's left me with some big thoughts.
2020 sucked; for almost everyone. Those who are disagreeing with the previous statement are the exceptional group who saw everything crumble, took a breathe, and reevaluated, and rose like the legendary phoenix. Not necessarily dramatically, no huge declaration, just settled into figuring out what they wanted and started chipping their way forward.
I find that incredible.
I am not one of those people. My sky fell two years ago, and I sledgehammered my way to 2020. Exhausted, a little bloody, but hoping the 'Roaring Twenties' were going to be better days. Imagine. My. Surprise.
Backstory: My mom moved to Jax to be closer to me, and my brother who was planning on moving home, the summer of 2018. Broke her ankle the day before she signed on her home, and I lucked into moving/installing/looking after her furniture until she recovered. I love being useful though, she compared me to a Martha Stewart/Mighty Mouse combination. I'm beyond thrilled to have her back and will continue to until I'm crippled or robots take over. She got sick and I started growing marigolds in early 2019. Two $1 boxes from the Dollar Store, French Doubles (Dwarf variety), several grueling hours of cutting and clearing turf. I cried when they germinated, and spent almost 9 months loving them. Didn't matter how awful the days got, how early the first appointment was, when I was sitting deadheading my spicy little babies it didn't matter.
Trevor supplied arranging manuals ('Cut Flower Garden' by Erin Benzakein & Julia Chai, 'The Flower Workshop' by Ariella Chezar, 'Handpicked' by Ingrid Carozzi), and his unending faith and emotional support and I started to dream of 'one day' growing my own cut flowers. We added Zinnias next to the Marigolds, I tried to start seeds I'd collected (I would see them at the store and couldn't always resist buying a packet for if I ever got brave enough) which was 110% a flop and got to studying.
2020: Last summer we decided to go for it. I wanted to grow my own wedding flowers. It started off so well, and I forget how impressive that was sometimes. I had 3/4 of my plot is use, if sparsely, through the Early Spring-Early Summer. Covid clearly nixed the wedding for now, but the flowers.. They were everything. But the year went pear-shaped, no ifs about it. So you've got first year growers woes, building a business woes, and a Global Pandemic. This isn't even looking at the financial disaster that 2020 was with quarantines/loss of contracts/business closures that were their own nightmares.
I did not phoenix well this year. I may have spent my phoenix strength in 2018, and been coasting off of it since to be honest.
But, I'm still working. That is not 'nothing'; in fact, that tenacity may very well be everything. I'm doubling down on my farmer-florist dreams heading into 2021. Starting with solarizing our lawn, and committing to our no-til ideology. viciously murdering our grass (up-keeping it while growing in the same general area was a nightmare), and working on plotting our hardy annuals and their rough start dates. Oh, and planning a wedding.
Why: I believe in loving the world through flowers, I believe local really is best, and I believe that I have fought too hard to get here (and make my family proud) to be disheartened now.
Whether I get a scholarship or not, I want to thank the Floret team and their deep, thought provoking questions that helped me hone in on what my future looks like.
It'll be several weeks until applicants hear back but, keep your fingers crossed for me, and stay tuned to the site and my Insta for news (Including seed unboxings!!!!)